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No more help for you

At this point, Johnna remembered that whenever she was successful, her parents would no longer help her. When she learned how to bake cookies, for example, her mother was happy and relieved. She would withdraw her support and turn that responsibility over to Johnna. It made Johnna feel alone, lonely and overwhelmed since she was saddled with more and more adult responsibilities.

She was always expected to handle these responsibilities. It was what her parents valued in her. But for Johnna, success meant losing contact with her parents, feeling alone and unsupported.

Success brings anxiety

It was such a well-entrenched, unconscious pattern, that as an adult, Johnna became anxious whenever she neared success. If she lost weight, she was afraid there wouldn’t be any support and that others would expect more of her.

She routinely sabotaged her success in order to feel less anxious. Yet, she felt frustrated knowing that she was repeating the same vicious cycle over and over again. It was only during EFT sessions that these patterns became clear.

More tapping

Here is the next set of statements that I used with Johnna:

Even though success means I will lose my support, and I won’t be able to handle that, I choose to know I can get support if I need it.

Even though success means more responsibility and that I have to KEEP being successful, I deeply love and accept all of my feelings.

Even though change feels overwhelming and I am afraid that others will expect more of me, I profoundly love and accept myself.

Even though I am afraid I won’t be cared for if I am successful, I choose to love and accept myself anyway.

Even though success feels frightening and different, I choose to embrace it now.

Not safe to try to be successful

Even though it is safer not to try, and I am afraid I will be lonely, I deeply and completely accept myself.

Even though I feel scared to succeed, I choose to know that I am safe, secure and provided for in every way.

Then around the body:

I can’t take care of me

I was just a kid

Feeling scared

Feeling lonely

Feeling overwhelmed

Feeling angry inside

Too much responsibility

I’m all alone

And finish with a positive round:

I’m ready to embrace my success

I choose to be responsible for me for my own sake (Johnna’s words)

Switching to deserving success

I deserve success

I am grateful for my success

I am ready to allow my success now

I am ready to enjoy my success now

I can be successful and still be cared for

I can say no to too much responsibility

The fear of success MUST be confronted if the client is entrenched in this pattern. You can start to tap on the general issues, and work toward uncovering the underlying core issues. But if you don’t unpack this issue, the client will never feel congruent with success enough to allow it.

Since our work together, Johnna has gone from binge eating several times per month to zero binge eating for the past two months. Success! No reverting back to old patterns. This process, of course, needs to be repeated for other avenues of success.

By Carol Solomon, PhD

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“Since our work together, Johnna has gone from binge eating several times per month to zero binge eating for the past two months. Success! No reverting back to old patterns. This process, of course, needs to be repeated for other avenues of success.”

Sabotaging our own success

My client, Johnna, was incredibly capable, but found herself continuously sabotaging her success. She would get close to her goal, whether it was weight loss or her creative endeavors, and suddenly revert back to old behavior.

This was particularly obvious with her binge eating problem. Several times per month she would go “over the edge” and eat everything in sight. She made several attempts at overcoming this problem but, alas, she reverted back every time.

Success is not allowed

It was like a wet blanket was thrown on her drive toward her goal. Her inner critic would then show up, and she would have self-talk such as “Who do you think you are?” Johnna did not believe that she was allowed to be successful in anything, binge eating included.

Johnna recognized her pattern of self-sabotage. There seemed to be some fear of success, but she couldn’t identify the source of the problem. Keeping in mind her lack of success with binge eating, we started with some general EFT statements:

Success doesn’t feel safe

Even though success does not feel safe, I deeply and completely accept myself.

Even though success does not feel good, I deeply love and accept myself anyway.

Even though success feels threatening, I choose to love and accept myself completely.

Then we used some general statements to tap around the body:

Success doesn’t feel safe.

Success doesn’t feel good.

Success is threatening.

Part of me doesn’t want to succeed.

Who do you think you are?

I’m not allowed to have it.

Part of me doesn’t want to change.

It just doesn’t feel right.

See what Johnna has discovered about her fear of success in the next post

By Carol Solomon, PhD

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You are invited to “Healing with the Masters” a teleseminar series hosted by acclaimed author, healer and speaker, Jennifer McLean. This 12-week series starting March 8 2011 provides you exclusive access to 24 of the world’s leading experts in spirituality, wellness and healing.

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This remarkable group of speakers are here to challenge you, love you and see that you are shifting and moving into the next best version of you. This intensive will be one of the most talked about events of 2011 — Lock in your F.R.E.E access right now at:

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The Nine Hearts Exercise is especially good for the Heart, Large Intestine and Penetrating Flow. It connects all Radiant Circuits and gets them flowing.

Little hearts by iamhomosquirrel/flickr

Bringing Radiant Energies to your hormones in less than a minute:

1.Make 3 “hearts” over your face, taking a deep inhalation and exhalation with each heart.

2. With the third heart, “pull the stick” down to the center of your chest.

3. Make 3 hearts over the trunk of your body.

4. Make 3 hearts over the front of your legs.

5. As you finish the last of these, place the backs of your hands together, bringing them up the center of your body, reaching high, separating them, and circling out into a large heart that encompasses your body and ends at your legs.

By Donna Eden

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You carry your wound. With the ego, your whole being is a wound. And you carry it around. Nobody is interested in hurting you, nobody is positively waiting to hurt you; everybody is engaged in safeguarding his own wound. Who has got the energy? But still it happens, because you are so ready to be wounded, so ready, just waiting on the brink for anything.

 You cannot touch a man of Tao. Why? – because there is no one to be touched. There is no wound. He is healthy, healed, whole. This word whole is beautiful. The word heal comes from the whole, and the word holy also comes from the whole. He is whole, healed, holy.

 Be aware of your wound. Don’t help it to grow, let it be healed; and it will be healed only when you move to the roots. The less the head, the more the wound will heal; with no head there is no wound. Live a headless life. Move as a total being, and accept things.

 Just for twenty-four hours, try it – total acceptance, whatsoever happens. Someone insults you, accept it; don’t react, and see what happens. Suddenly you will feel an energy flowing in you that you have not felt before.

 Osho

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You carry your wound. With the ego, your whole being is a wound. And you carry it around. Nobody is interested in hurting you, nobody is positively waiting to hurt you; everybody is engaged in safeguarding his own wound. Who has got the energy? But still it happens, because you are so ready to be wounded, so ready, just waiting on the brink for anything.

You cannot touch a man of Tao. Why? – because there is no one to be touched. There is no wound. He is healthy, healed, whole. This word whole is beautiful. The word heal comes from the whole, and the word holy also comes from the whole. He is whole, healed, holy.

Be aware of your wound. Don’t help it to grow, let it be healed; and it will be healed only when you move to the roots. The less the head, the more the wound will heal; with no head there is no wound. Live a headless life. Move as a total being, and accept things.

Just for twenty-four hours, try it – total acceptance, whatsoever happens. Someone insults you, accept it; don’t react, and see what happens. Suddenly you will feel an energy flowing in you that you have not felt before.

Osho

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Our Beliefs Make Chemistry
(www.drdavidhamilton.com)

I spoke at a Mind-Body-Spirit Fair in Derby recently.  Wandering around some of the stalls before my talks got me thinking. Some people have asked me if I thought most of the therapies on offer at these fairs are rubbish, just all in the mind. I sometimes reply, ‘What would it matter if they were?’

People go to fairs like these and they feel good when they get treatments, when they talk with stall holders, and when they hear talks.

It wouldn’t matter if the benefits of the therapies on offer were just placebo (For the record, they’re not). If they work for people, then great.

There’s going to come a time in Medicine where it is widely accepted that the mind plays a really important role in, well, just about everything. If a patient believes that something will be good for them, then should it not be encouraged providing it can’t do any harm?
I remember someone even say to me once that visualizing ourselves getting better from an illness is rubbish, that’s its just all in the mind. Of course it is. Is that not the point?
If you believe that a therapy is good for you then it will be. Take a fictitious therapy called ‘X’, for example.

If you have learned that ‘X’ creates a feeling of relaxation and that this will reduce your stress, which will also have a positive impact upon many illnesses, then you will probably receive a lot of benefit from it. Yes, some of the benefit would be placebo – your belief in the therapy. But who cares whether it is or not? That’s just academic.

The bottom line is that the person receiving the therapy is benefiting.

If, on the other hand, a person had been told by someone that there are no real benefits, that’s it’s all in the mind, then they might not have the therapy and so miss out on the benefits, just because a study might have shown that it was no better than placebo. But by receiving the therapy, they are getting benefits, even if much of it is created by the mind.
That’s the thing with the mind. Our beliefs make chemistry! And quite often, that chemistry benefits us.

The mind creates chemical changes in the brain and around the body. Hormone levels change, cells change, and genes express themselves, producing proteins all around the brain and body. In a 2005 paper, Eric Kandel, 2000 Nobel Prizewinner in Medicine, even wrote, ‘There’s no longer any doubt that psychotherapy can result in detectable changes in the brain.’ A new way of thinking about something activates different brain regions from before, encouraging blood flow in a new direction, leading to actual structural changes in the brain, often in the region of the prefrontal cortex.

Getting therapy ‘X’, whatever it is, allows the person’s mind to create healing change in the body, regardless of whether the therapy was any good in and of itself. It really shouldn’t matter if ‘X’ was no better than placebo. Placebo heals in and of itself. That was one of my greatest learnings when I worked as a scientist with one of the world’s largest pharmaceutical companies.

Time and again, I learned about clinical trials (for drugs that are currently on the market) that showed a large number of people improve because they believed they were getting a medicine when, in reality, they were getting a small white tablet made of chalk or sugar – a fake drug. Belief makes chemistry!

I think many criticisms are purely academic. The evidence in mind-body science is compelling. We also now know that thinking causes structural changes in the brain, for instance. We’ve reached a point where we can no longer say, ‘it’s all in the mind’, because our own thinking is not inert. You can’t have a thought or hold a belief without affecting your brain and body.
So if a person believes that a particular therapy can help them on their healing journey then, providing it can’t actually do any harm, it should be encouraged.

I would always recommend, however, that you talk to your doctor/physician about your intentions. Many physicians are open to the use of alternatives and it can be good to have your physician on board, in support of what you’re doing. It can make you feel better about what you’re doing.

If they are not, then it is your right to seek a second opinion, or a third.

This article is Copyright © 2009 by David R. Hamilton Ph.D.
Please feel free to share it with friends, but please credit the author (Dr David R. Hamilton) and the source, www.drdavidhamilton.com

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Awarness and presence are two states that I have been quite preoccupied with lately. Here are 3 exercises to help us achieve more of both on a daily basis They will open up a new level of awareness and prepare you for advanced personal and spiritual development.

 Exercise 1: A New Way of Being  This first exercise is a pleasurable and powerful life-changing tool. The effects of daily stress associated with materialistic obsession (and its by-products: anxiety, isolation, frustration, fear, anger and depression) can be dissolved by this technique. It is at the same time simple and very profound. It increases greatly the vibratory rate of your non-physical Higher Self. Its premise is “smile at the world and the world will smile back at you.”

 As you go about your daily activities, from the moment you get up in the morning up to the the time that you go back to sleep, constantly imagine that you are smiling inwardly at your outer reality as you go about your daily activities. Imagine that you are smiling from the deeper recesses of your mind, originating from within your heart area, and that you are projecting that happiness and smile outward through your eyes and expression. No matter what the circumstances are. You will find increasingly that your eyes will be smiling and so will your mouth, that will often curl up to a slight smile.

 At the same time imagine that your heart constantly expresses a great inward smile filled with pure joy of being alive, no matter what.

 After 2 weeks or so, you will notice an incredible amount of changes, not only in the way you interact with the ‘outside’ world, but also in how the ‘world’ acts and projects reality toward you. Your fears will begin to abate and an inner feeling of peace and love will emerge. Notice how people seek your presence and ‘Inner Love.’

Exercise 2: The Witness

 Set aside 5 minutes at first (keep increasing by 2-3 minutes every other day until you reach 20 minutes) and close your eyes. Turn your attention inward and, from being a ‘thinking’ human being, start viewing your thoughts as an independent observer in a detached remote manner, as if your thoughts were ‘things’ or a spectacle to watch. Watch the train of your thoughts and images, the succession of often unrelated thoughts that appear to you. Don’t analyze anything.

Learn to switch from the perception of being ‘in’ your thoughts to withdrawing from them and becoming the detached totally passive observer of them. Get the feeling for the mental shift that occurs when doing so. Go within the thoughts and then withdraw to a more detached level. After a while of repeating this exercise you will notice that your thoughts become more isolated and that your inner mind starts taking a break.

 Now, here is the next part of the exercise. As you watch your train of thought (images or just concepts), pick up one particular thought that you find interesting and “plunge into it” with full concentration. Remain focused on that thought to the exclusion of others for as long as possible. If other thoughts interfere, do not push them away, but watch them pass by as if they were foreign ‘things’ in your consciousness. At first you might only be able to do this for maybe 1 minute or less. Slowly increase it up to 7 minutes.

 The last part of the exercise consists of blanking your thoughts out. This is done by deciding to concentrate on perceptually dark nothingness. If a thought comes in, imagine throwing white light on it. Imagine that the light dissolves that thought and that the screen then goes back to nothingness. Try to maintain that state up to 5 minutes. Start with 1-2 minutes.

 Exercise 3: The Movies

 This exercise is the “going in and out of movies” exercise. All you need to do is to choose a good suspenseful motion picture and go watch it, preferably on a big screen. Try it also with hilarious comedies.

 First, allow yourself to get immersed in the captivating story. As you forget about your identity and start becoming ‘within’ the plot of the scene, suddenly withdraw your awareness from the big screen (you may for the first time want to look a bit around you in the dark in order to remember ‘who you are’) and become the observer of reality again. Slowly reconnect to the plot, but this time, allow yourself to remain with the awareness of being yourself watching, as a spectator (observer), the reality projected in the movie. Keep this dual awareness for a moment and then let go and plunge within the movie action, forgetting your real inner self again. And then repeat the exercise over and over.

 Keep on doing this mental withdrawal and then plunging in again, until you get to know intimately the feeling of withdrawing from ‘reality’ (aware of inner self) and diving back in it (aware of outer reality). Easy isn’t it? This simple exercise is very powerful.

 As you get the knack of it try the same system as you go about your daily life. Use the same “mental trick” when engaged in your daily activities, especially the very ones that captivate you and are often associated with fear and stress. Soon, you will become aware at all times of being the ‘observer’ (inner self) observing the observed (reality and outer self) and become quite detached about it, enjoying your ‘movie’ in a much more relaxed and calm atmosphere.

 Hope you enjoyed these exercises by Burt Goldman

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We all know that seeing someone we like can make us feel good. Now, scientists at Nagoya University in Japan have begun to chart the effects on the brain and immune system.

In the study they had 12 male volunteers watch short 4-minute films featuring their favorite actresses and measured their immune activity and brain changes. The clips didn’t contain any sexual material, but were typically ‘basic’ scenes that showed the actress smile.

Notably, levels of natural killer cells,cells of the immune system that play a key role in kicking out cancer cells and virus-infected cells,began to rise as they experienced positive emotions associated with the person. In the brain, dopamine levels began to rise, which is involved in feeling good.

When you see someone you like, which might be a friend, family member, or a favorite person, there is a spurt of positive emotion, which then has the effects on the brain and immune system. It’s good to surround ourselves with people we like.

And when we’re nice to people, they tend to like us too. So when you’re in their presence they get an immune boost too. Next time you’re with a friend, consider that your presence might actually be improving their health. Perhaps this is one of the ways that having people around us that we love helps us to recover faster from illness.

And think of the benefits to your immune system when you sit quietly, perhaps at home, on a bus, train or plane, and think kindly of the people you care about.

One of my regular practices is where I choose someone in my life and spend 10 minutes or more thinking of all the reasons that I’m grateful that they are in my life, all that they have contributed to my life, how they make me feel etc. This strengthens positive feelings for them and improves relationship quality. That’s been my personal experience and is also what many people who participate in gratitude studies report too.

I do this because I really enjoy thinking of people with gratitude in my heart. I feel it’s a way of saying ‘Thank you for being in my life, you mean so much to me, and I won’t ever forget all that you’ve done for me’. And it’s nice to know that your health benefits too. Call it a welcome side-effect.

I often talk about the health benefits of gratitude, kindness and compassion. The benefits are real but we should never show gratitude, kindness, or compassion to gain. We give because it’s the right thing to do.

The main reason I discuss the health benefits is because it brings discussions about gratitude, kindness, and compassion to the forefront of our minds and I believe this makes us more likely to act on opportunities to be kind.

It might be an overused cliché, or even a bit idealistic, but I honestly believe that kindness can make the world a better place.

Now that you’ve read this article, be open today to opportunities to be kind, to care, or to show gratitude. You might just make someone’s day!

source dr. David Hamilton’s October newsletter

That’s all for now,

David

Reference:

M. Matsunaga, et al, ‘Associations Among Central Nervous, Endocrine, and Immune Activities When Positive Emotions Are Elicited by Looking at a Favourite Person’, Brain, Behaviour, and Immunity, 2008, 22(3), 408-417

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(www.drdavidhamilton.com)

A study published last month by medics at McMaster Children’s Hospital in Hamilton, Ontario, showed that Therapeutic Touch (TT) – the laying on of hands – benefited premature infants.

It was a rigorously controlled trial – double blind and randomized – involving 20 infants of gestational age less than 29 weeks. Ten received 5-minute TT sessions on 3 consecutive days and ten did not.

Measurements of Heart Period Variability (HPV) were taken 5 minutes before, during and after the treatment.

The results showed that the infants who had received Therapeutic Touch had increased Heart Period Variability’s, while the infants who did not receive the treatment showed no change. Low HPV is often associated with heart conditions so this demonstrated an improvement in heart health by Therapeutic Touch.

My research into this phenomenon has shown me that we all have the ability to heal. Actually, the key is a caring, compassionate desire to help. From this caring space, we really all do have healing hands. I know that this may be a little much for sceptical people but know that neuroscience research shows that emotional states in one individual often impact upon the brain of the other. Numerous other studies demonstrate that we are far more connected to each other than we have previously known.

Click here to read the article, published in ‘Advances in Neonatal Care’

*Send article to friends on Facebook or Twitter:
Copy and paste: ‘Healing Hands Benefit Premature Infants’, and the link – http://bit.ly/9HCV3o

This article is Copyright © 2008 by David R. Hamilton Ph.D.
Please feel free to share it with friends, but please credit the author (Dr David R. Hamilton) and the source, www.drdavidhamilton.com

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