To let go does not mean to stop caring, it means I can’t do it for someone else.

To let go is not to cut myself off, it’s the realization I can’t control another.

To let go is not to enable, to allow learning from natural consequences.

To let go is to admit powerlessness, which means the outcome is not in my hands.

To let go is not to try to change or blame another, it’s to make the most of myself.

To let go is not to care for, but to care about.

To let go is not to fix, but to be supportive.

To let go is not to judge, but to allow another to be a human being.

To let go is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes, but to allow others to affect their destinies.

To let go is not to be protective, it’s to permit another to face reality.

To let go is not to deny, but to accept.

To let go is not to nag, scold or argue, but instead to search out my own shortcomings and correct them.

To let go is not to adjust everything to my desires, but to take each day as it comes and cherish myself in it.

To let go is not to criticize or regulate anybody, but to try to become what I dream I can be.

To let go is not to regret the past, but to grow and live for the future.

To let go is to fear les and love more.

Remember:  The time to love is short.

Author unknown

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Emotional Freedom Techniques (or EFT) is a revolutionary new healing aid being used worldwide by those in the healing professions and because of its simplistic and complementary nature has become an excellent addition to the coaching tool box.

EFT is a psychological form of acupuncture, but without the needles. Instead, you stimulate well established energy meridian points on your body by tapping on them with your fingertips whilst repeating specific statements. The process is easy to memorize and is portable so you can do it anywhere.

EFT was discovered by Gary Craig in the 1980’s and is an amazing process that allows you to discover the underlying issues that have been holding you back and has been known to provide relief from:

Life-long Fears and Phobias, Serious Physical Ailments, Illness and Injuries, Body Image Issues, Cravings and Addictions, Money and Wealth Issues, Relationship Issues, Career and Business Issues.

The underlying principle of EFT is, “The cause of all negative emotions is a disruption in the body’s energy system.” And because our physical pains and diseases are so obviously connected with our emotions the following statement has also proven to be true…

“Our unresolved negative emotions are major contributors to most physical pains and diseases.”

This common sense approach to EFT draws its power from;
1) Time-honored Eastern discoveries that have been around for over 5,000 years and
2) Albert Einstein, who told us back in the 1920’s that everything (including our body), is composed of energy.

The cause of all negative emotions is a disruption in the body’s energy system, and when combined with the universal law of attraction is why people struggle towards that which they truly want. For example:

If you have a negative thought, feeling or belief vibrating at a sub-conscious level in your body then you will actually be attracting this vibration in your external world. The correct use of EFT will allow you to clear this energetic vibration (eg the negative thought, feeling or belief) and then replace it with a more positive and powerful vibration, so that you begin to attract the reality (by performing the behaviors) that are in alignment with this new vibration.

How does EFT work? EFT works by massaging the meridians (by tapping on them with your finger tips) to free up any trapped energy associated with the negative past or projected future trauma or event and is simple to perform,

Step one: Identify an issue that you would like to work on. For the sake of this article I will use the issue of “I feel like a failure” But just remember EFT has been known to work on almost anything, so if you have any issue feel free to use that instead.

Step two: Identify on a scale of 0-10 how badly you feel about this issue. Ten being the worst you could possibly feel. If you can’t feel it right now then close your eyes and imagine yourself in the stressful situation or issue in your mind.

Step Three: Create the set up statement “Even though I feel like a failure I deeply and completely love and accept myself anyway”. The purpose of the set up statement is to bring the issue to your conscious awareness and to say that even though I have this issue I still love myself anyway. Eg I am not my issue.

Step Four: Repeat the set up statement 3 times whilst tapping repeatedly on the Karate Chop (KC) point. The karate chop point is on the side of the small finger side of either hand. Form a karate chop action with your hand and then hit something with it (eg a table). The point that hit the table is the karate chop point

Step Five: Perform 1-2 rounds of the negative statement (eg “I feel like a failure”) whilst tapping on each of the meridian points, starting from the Eye Brow point and going down the body and then finishing on the top of your head and when finished take a deep breath out.

Step Six: Re-assess on a scale of 0-10 how badly you feel about the original issue. Ideally you will have reduced your number as the emotional charge will have either dissipated, disappeared or you will have triggered a secondary issue. If you still have some emotional charge around the original issue or you have unearthed another secondary issue (which normally presents itself in the form of another emotion, a belief, a memory of a past event or even a physical symptom) then repeat the above six steps until you feel completely clear of any mental, emotional or physical discomfort.

Step Seven: Repeat the 6 step EFT process just mentioned on anything else that may be causing you some unease.

And here are a few Tapping tips, just in case you still need them:

- It does not matter which hand you use when tapping. You can use your right, left or both hands if you want to.
- You can tap on either side of the body if you want as the meridian points are symmetrical on each side of the body.
- When tapping on each meridian point aim for 7-10 taps or just tap for as long as it takes you to say the statement.

Case Study, The Fear of Public Speaking. The following is an excerpt from a client of mine Terry (not his real name) prior to spending 30 minutes with me to rid himself of his (very common) fear of Public Speaking.

“I am 47 years old. I grew up as a confident and sociable person, who was a top debater and comfortable public speaker. Approximately 23 years ago I had my first panic attack, whilst in the middle of presenting in a work environment. It was terrifying and utterly humiliating and I have since had many more attacks, which have shaped and reduced my quality of life such that I avoid any situation where it could happen. The terror is not knowing when it will happen. I have tried hypnotherapy, breathing exercises, physical exercise & dieting, but lately just seem to drown it out with alcohol and I am getting desperate. I have just been put in charge of a role that requires leadership and speaking at meetings and seminars, which includes being transferred to Perth on the 1st of next month. My first presentation is scheduled for next week and I would willingly swim in a swamp full of crocodiles rather than face it as I have failed so many times before and now it is like a self fulfilling prophecy. I need help and I need it quickly!”

The session involved performing EFT on the following four statements:

“Even though I have this fear of public speaking”
“Even though I am terrified of my panic attacks and not knowing when they will happen next”
“Even though I am wearing smelly shoes and I fear being humiliated” and finally
“Even though I am afraid of what people will think of me.”

When we finally removed enough emotional charge we were able to get down to the underlying issue, which was:

Just before Terry’s first panic attack 23 years ago, he had been attending a conference and had consumed far too many drinks the night before his presentation. When he woke up he had put his shoes on and they were soaking wet and smelly (from his drunken activities the night before). Without time to buy new shoes he went into his presentation feeling extremely self conscious and was fearing what others might think of him. And consequently this resulted in bringing on his first ever panic attack, which he associated with public speaking. Therefore every time he had to speak in public after that initial traumatic event he triggered the underlying emotions of fear, panic, terror and humiliation.

I am very happy to say that after only one session Terry is back to being a very confident public speaker.

Well there it is. I hope you now have a better understanding of EFT. Good luck with your tapping.

The author Andrew McCombe (BPhEd) is a Personal Trainer, Life Coach and Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) Practitioner, Author and Speaker. For more information download the Free 10 EASY Steps to Your Perfect Body E-Book at http://www.activateyourweightloss.com.au

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Andrew_McCombe

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5 Key Ingredients in the Search for Happiness

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A Stroke of Insight GREAT Video

I just came accross this  remarkable 18 minute video clip. Speaker Dr Jill Bolte Taylor a neural anatomist/specialist had the rare opportunity to study a stroke from a very personal perspective… her own. Through the stroke, she lost the whole, what I would call, “ego” part of her brain and discovered nirvana. She shares that moving and remarkable experience in this video.

 I just had to share this with you.  For me, it reminded me of several things… first, is the gift that our life challenges can bring. For Dr. Taylor that was long and arduous recovery, but such an important story for the world to hear and from a scientist no less. This stroke became a huge blessing for her and the world. It also reminded me of the important role of the ego brain and how it keeps us on track and alive, yet the remarkable power and divinity of the part of the brain that can experience nirvana and can understand that we are truly all one. So check out the video.

Upon reflection on this I hope you can look at your life challenges in a new light; there is a divine purpose to what happens “to us” and if we can hold that consciousness in mind as we are experiencing it, it becomes an adventure not a horror story… a wonderland of learning and sharing not a victim of circumstances.

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  I always believed happiness was contagious. Now, like so many other things I feel innately but tend to doubt without external verification; I can say I know it to be true.

We now have scientific proof that happiness spreads. James Fowler (University of California, San Diego) and Nicholas Christakis (Harvard) recently released the results of a 20-year study showing the “dynamic spread of happiness in a large social network.”

They analyzed data collected from nearly 5,000 people over the course of 20 years and found that happiness, like health, is a collective phenomenon.

If I’m happy, a friend of mine living less than half a mile from me is 42% more likely to be happy because of it. The increased likelihood of happiness drops to 22% if that friend lives within two miles from me. However, if you’re my next door neighbor, your increased probability of happiness is 34%.

Amazing, yes? There’s more. This effect, although somewhat diminished, reaches out to three degrees of separation. Increased probability of happiness for the friend of a friend is 15.3% and 9.8% for the friend of a friend of a friend. The diagrams in this post show the ripple effect of happiness.

Wow.

Examination of this same group of people shows that having an extra $5,000 increased a person’s chances of becoming happier by 2%. But if a friend of a friend of your friend is happy, it can increase your chances of becoming happier by 9.8%. So, someone you don’t know and have never met can have a greater influence on your spirits than thousands of dollars in your pocket.

Wow again.

Combine this with the knowledge that being happy greatly improves the likelihood of being healthy and we now have more than ample reason to make choices that support our joy. Our happiness is not only good for us, it benefits the friend of the friend of our friend.

I don’t know about you, but that thought alone puts a smile on my face.

For more things to smile about, visit ispyjoy.com
To read the full text of the study, visit www.bmj.com

posted by mmlarsen on 7/14/2009 7:04 pm |

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This morning a client called me all upset, crying and out of breath in panic and desperation.

She wanted to be ‘as good as Ms X, and have a website as beautiful and functional with products that are as great.’

She wanted some coaching, but her mind said, “I can’t do it! I don’t have the knowledge or expertise, my website can’t compare, I’m not as good as Ms X is, I don’t have the money, I’m afraid I’ll pay and pay and not get anywhere….”

I’m going to write here as if I were talking right to her, because this is so common that I bet you go through it sometimes, too. Ready? Here goes:

Whoa! Slow down here! The first problem is that you got so hung up in comparing and thinking you weren’t ‘as good as’ that you forgot! You forgot to notice that it’s just energy! You’re using it to compare yourself to someone you admire, and ending up feeling bad about yourself. No blame, you just forgot! So, let’s turn that around now.

When you compare, you end up collapsing in upon yourself and focusing only on your default negative beliefs about yourself. Then they spiral you down deeper and deeper, until it seems like nothing will ever work again.

You are forgetting two more essential components: 1. As you compare yourself to her, are you asking what you’d prefer in your own life or business instead of what you’re doing now, and then acknowledging that you can actually do that?

No! You are continuing to collapse into despair and self-hatred and believing that you ‘can’t do it’!

And 2., are you asking yourself what your next steps would be in getting to that preference?

No! You can’t even begin to ask because you’re so deeply centered in thinking there’s something wrong with you!

LET’S TURN IT AROUND
So come on out for a second and describe the feeling(s) you’re having to me. It can be a hollow feeling in your chest or belly, a sharp pain in your heart, a constriction in your throat, sweaty palms, a heat-flush over the whole front of the body….

There are so many bodily-felt sensations I could fill a book with them alone. It’s up to you to notice what you’re feeling–literally–in your body, and describe it to yourself in graphic terms, the more detailed the better.

Your feelings aren’t ‘bad!’ You need to stop looking at them as if they are your enemies. Instead of saying ‘I want to eliminate my anger,’ ask, ‘what is this anger–this intense energy running through me–telling me that I need to look at and change inside of myself?’

Your feelings are your sensory radar that let you know that there is energy to be reclaimed in your system. That’s all they are–messages. Not always symptoms of illness, not ‘bad,’ not ‘to be gotten rid of,’ not unresolvable.

COMPARISON
Comparison is a confidence-killer habit–and it’s something we all do on a regular basis! It’s OK to do if you can maintain an unattached viewpoint. But most of us were never taught how to do that, so we fall into self-recrimination, anger and despair instead of curiousoity and creativity.

Here’s how to handle it: first, go ahead and notice everything about that person (or thing, activity or whatever it is) that you like, admire and would like to copy, emulate or do in your own way.

Second, now look for the things about it or them that you do NOT like, and would do differently if it were up to you to decide (which, of course, it is!).

FEELINGS
Third, now notice what feelings are stirring within yourself. Anger? Jealousy? Sadness? Grief or loneliness? Desperation, fear, confusion, or helplessness?

Handle your feelings, transform the energy and get a move on!

How do you do that?

Name your feelings. Heart-stab, belly-ache, hollow chest, twinge under the scapula….like that.

If you cannot name your feelings, that’s OK. Just focus on the actual sensations in your body, like I described in paragraph four above.

If you feel completely numb and cannot recognize any bodily-felt sensations, acknowledge that, too.

Let’s play with this a little. Let’s say you were looking at someone’s beautiful website. You admire the colors, the way the site is put together and designed to be simple and navigable. The elements on each page are just right; the products are cohesive and well-priced, and the copy is written in an attractive way you really like.

You also notice the person has a great system that is simple yet deep, and really does do what it says it does: helps people feel good and understand themselves and get along better in life.

Now ask yourself this: if I were as talented, gifted and skilled as that person, what would I be doing?

Ahhhh–did your belief system just kick you in the butt and said ‘you’re not’? Did it say, ‘yeah right!’ Or, ‘that’ll be the day!’

Fill in the blanks below 5 phrases you thought or heard:

___________________________
___________________________
___________________________
___________________________
___________________________

Write down what your body is feeling: (sharp pain in my heart, hollow feeling in my belly, tight throat, pain in my mid-back….)

___________________________
___________________________
___________________________
___________________________
___________________________

Rate the pain or feeling: if zero was none, and ten the most painful or intense, what would you rate the feelings you have?

sharp pain in my heart ___ 9 ____
hollow feeling in my belly ___ 10 ____
tight throat _______ 5 _______
pain in my mid-back ____ 9 _____

Now do yours: _______________
___________________________
___________________________
___________________________
___________________________
___________________________

TRANSFORM THE ENERGY
Now tap on it! Start with the physical.

As you tap on your karate chop point, say this:

Even though:
I have this sharp pain in my heart
it feels like someone’s stabbing me
I want to lie down and give up, and
I feel so helpless and powerless…
I still want to love and accept myself.

Now I want you to exaggerate the negative so you can have a little fun at this. Instead of only saying you feel powerless, really stretch it (and see if you can get to a place where you can laugh):

Even though:
I feel so powerless
I feel helpless like a newborn kitten
I feel like a flat puddle
like a slimeball just out of the tubes
like a limp rag or wet seaweed….
I really do love myself.

And now really rebel and say this:

Even though:
I don’t love and accept myself–
I don’t even want to!
You can’t make me!
I won’t do it!
You never loved or accepted me when I was little
Why should I?
If I do I’ll lose out
I’ll never ever be accepted
it’s impossible
I won’t do it!
I’m gonna be a rebel until I die!
I don’t believe any of this works!
Fooey on you!
But I still love and respect myself profoundly, every little part of me.

Now tap on each point on the face and torso, using the same phrases you used above to express yourself. Tap and then re-rate your feelings.

OPPOSITES
Why do you say those (sometimes scary-sounding)  opposites?

Because some hidden, irrational part of you actually is thinking those things! It needs to be expressed – ex = outside of, -press = push. So you need to push those thoughts and energies outside of yourself so you can see and heal them. If there is no part of you thinking those things, you won’t think of them to say!

When you express and acknowledge them without judgement, they can give a big sigh and allow themselves to be reformed into clean, creative energy. Sometimes you’ll feel a big sigh or a yawn or a tingle in your back or leg–that’s the energy resettling itself properly.

Those ‘negative’ thoughts are not even always your own thoughts. They can be thoughts handed down in your family, thoughts that someone else pushed on you–maybe you picked them up from a teacher, peer or parent, or even from the radio, tv or internet.

Once you pick up thoughts–especially thoughts that are repeated regularly, like ‘money doesn’t grow on trees,’ or ‘you’ll never get it right,’ they become ingrained and you start thinking they are your own thoughts. NOT!

NUMB?
If you feel numb, and maybe even no particular thoughts emerge for you, try this:

Even though:
I feel so numb
I’m still OK
and I choose to be able to identify my limiting thoughts and beliefs right now, or soon.

Even though:
I have kept myself numb in order to stay safe
I’m going to try this tapping thing
in order to heal the limiting beliefs in my system
so I can create a better life.

Even though:
this numbness feels like a blanket over my head (see how the actually energy is revealing itself now?),
and I feel like I’m being crushed by it
I’m afraid of it
because I know it will totally crush me
I still am going to love and accept myself fully anyway.

Now tap on each point on the face and torso, using the same phrases you used above to express yourself.

Keep tapping until your ratings get to at least a 3. If you feel as if the rest will melt away by itself, you can go on to the next one. If not, go to zero. Tap and then re-rate your feelings.

I CHOOSE!
Now choose to feel fabulous and empowered (tap on the yeah-buts and I-can’ts, and keep choosing to feel and be fabulous and empowered. Describe that in your own terms, of course!).

Tap in your new choices:
**  I choose to do my business as systematically and professionally as Ms X does.
**  I choose to find someone who will build me a site as great as hers–or greater!
**  I choose to create a system that will help people as powerfully as hers. Or,
**  I choose to help people in my own way just as powerfully and deeply, if not more so.
**  I choose to do my life the way that feels right to me, in my own way and style.
**  I forgive myself for being so hard on me, and choose to add more humor and fun to my life from now on

Obviously, make your own choices in your own words–you may not even have a website!

RE-RATE YOUR FEELINGS & THOUGHTS
Look at the list of feelings and thoughts you had in the beginning. Re-rate them.

Congratulations–you just took a big pile of energy that was holding you back and turned it into lovely creative juice with which you can nurture and empower yourself!

RE-COMPARE
Now look back at that person with whom you were comparing yourself. Recognize that she is simply on another level than you are, and you are absolutely OK the way you are right now. You were just noticing things about her that you could amp up on your own site, in yourself or your business to–or way beyond where they are now!

NOW GET A MOVE ON!
Choose a couple of items from the list of the things you admired about her. Look at your own life and doings: are you already doing the same type of thing in your own way? If not, would you even want to now that you have a more sober way to look at them?

If so, what are they? Write them out clearly, make a mind map, or do what it takes in your own way to add them to your plan.

What are a few very simple steps you can take to accomplish them?

Start right now. Decide and determine to take all that lovely energy you just cleaned up and made available for creativity–and DO those steps!

WHAT NEXT?
Next time you find yourself comparing, notice your energy. Do you need to tap? Do it! No? Then use your comparing to see what you want to do or not do, and go on from there, knowing that you are a worthy, unique, irreplaceable being whose life and doings in the world are necessary and precious to the rest of us.
==.==.==.==.==.==.==.==.==.==.==.==.==.==.==.==

© Angela Treat Lyon 2009 • I invite you to feel free to use this article as long as you use it in its entirety, including my © and contact information. Lyon at IDareYouRADIO.com

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You can help get EFT into every home on the planet–just share this EFT Basics site with everyone!

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==.==.==.==.==.==.==.==.==.==.==.==.==.==.==.==

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Sometimes I feel like I’m in the ego management business — in the midst of finishing a new book, preparing to launch The Shadow Effect, building two new websites, creating an amazing web space for my coaches, leading workshops and trainings, making brochures, Twittering and updating my Facebook status, mothering, and more. It can be overwhelming and bring up the most earthly behaviors — mine and others. Of course, I’m in denial when they’re mine and appalled when they’re somebody else’s. That’s the way of the ego, the way of the shadow and its mighty defense called projection.

I woke up this morning asking, “What’s the answer?” How do you get through life each day when you’re in overwhelm, when there is more on your plate than you can handle, or when life is just not behaving as it should? I needed some solace (peace) so I went digging around in my next book The 21-Day Consciousness Cleanse to find it. I thought I’d attend one of my own lectures. And right there on page 12, I got relief. Even though the book is not out until September, I wanted to share what shifted me with you.

It is your soul’s journey to bring into balance all of what you are — the coexistence of opposites, the divine integration of the sum of all the parts. It is the soul’s journey to enroll the ego in the quest for the ultimate victory — the evolution of your own individual consciousness. But the journey must begin by choosing between two forces: one has the power to lead you to new heights; the other can keep you pinned down to a past that is filled with limitation and dread.

Don’t be fooled. You’re living either an ego-driven life or one that is soul centered. The soul discerns with a laser like sharpness. The ego judges and rejects with disdain and aggressiveness. The soul takes responsibility.

The ego blames and transfers responsibility. The soul moves through life with grace. The ego moves through life with sloppiness, chaos, and drama. The soul feels good about who it is and what it wants and needs to sustain itself, to grow and evolve. The ego never has enough; it can never leave well enough alone or see beyond the current circumstances. It is entitled, confused and feels stuck.

The ego is tirelessly swimming against the current, while the soul sits back and floats in the direction that life is moving in. You’re either being guided by your soul or driven by your ego. At any time, you have access to either of these lifestyles, and to all the experiences and emotions they bring with them.

After reading these short paragraphs, I realized that all there was for me to do in the midst of the turmoil was to choose the journey of my sweet soul — to tune in, to listen even more deeply and to stay committed to a higher vibration — the vibration of love, peace and success…my soul’s success.

So of course I’ll ask you like I asked myself, “What can you do this week to make this human experience more loving, more honest and more soulful?” I hope you remember that, in the midst of an ego attack, you too can choose a higher vibration. It is the only true path to your soul’s success.

from Debbie Ford’s Shadow blog

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• Dialogue is collaborative: two or more sides work together toward common understanding.
  • Debate is oppositional: two sides oppose each other and attempt to prove each other wrong.

• In dialogue, finding common ground is the goal.
  • In debate, winning is the goal.

• In dialogue, one listens to the other side(s) in order to understand, find meaning and find agreement.
  • In debate, one listens to the other side in order to find flaws and to counter its arguments.

• Dialogue enlarges and possibly changes a participants point of view.
  • Debate affirms a participant’s own point of view.

• Dialogue reveals assumptions for re-evaluation.
  • Debate defends assumptions as truth.

• Dialogue causes introspection on ones own position.
  • Debate causes critique of the other position.

• Dialogue opens the possibility of reaching a better solution than any of the original solutions.
  • Debate defends one’s own positions as the best solution and excludes other solutions.

• Dialogue creates an open-minded attitude: an openness to being wrong and an openness to change.
  • Debate creates a close-minded attitude, a determination to be right.

• In dialogue, one submits ones best thinking, knowing that other people’s reflections will help improve it rather than destroy it.
  • In debate, one submits one’s best thinking and defends it against challenge to show that it is right.

• Dialogue calls for temporarily suspending one’s beliefs.
  • Debate calls for investing wholeheartedly in one’s beliefs.

• In dialogue, one searches for basic agreements.
  • In debate, one searches for glaring differences.

• In dialogue one searches for strengths in the other positions.
  • In debate one searches for flaws and weaknesses in the other position.

• Dialogue involves a real concern for the other person and seeks to not alienate or offend.
  • Debate involves a countering of the other position without focusing on feelings or relationship and often belittles or deprecates the other person.

• Dialogue assumes that many people have pieces of the answer and that together they can put them into a workable solution.
  • Debate assumes that there is a right answer and that someone has it.

• Dialogue remains open-ended.
  • Debate implies a conclusion.

Adapted from a paper prepared by Shelley Berman, which was based on discussions of the Dialogue Group of the Boston Chapter of Educators for Social Responsibility (ESR).

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The Tele – seminar Series has started already and is about half way done, but there some amazing speakers are still

Jennifer McLean is the wonderful, funny, authentic and shift reading host of  this 12-week intensive that gives you exclusive inside-their-mind access to 24 of the world’s leading experts in new thought and wellness .

These well known speakers are revealing their most personal, private and above all most effective techniques that will help you achieve whatever you want in life (and release whatever you don’t want!).

Jennifer is an acclaimed healer, author and speaker who is applying her own process to this program, as evidenced by the list of “who’s who” in New Thought participating. Obviously, she knows how to make things happen and is very passionate about helping others achieve health and success.

There is still time to register for the free calls http://www.healingwiththemasters.com. You really don’t want to miss the rest of her speakers as Jennifer makes come the best out of them.

Enjoy, I do !

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To save  or not to save the falling baby bird? This is a beautiful video created by Michael Neill’s Genius Catalyst team based on one of his most popular tips originally written in 2003. Enjoy!

Could not embed the video unfortunately, but here is the link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_RPrmI-08kc

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